April 2009
8 posts
1 tag
Sssssss (1973): He's a cold hearted snake, look...
Sssssss is a steaming pile of snake turds but… I liked it. It’s the heartwarming tale of a boy’s journey from teenager to snake. Dirk Benedict (The A-Team’s “Faceman”) stars as David, a high school loser who has an interest in herpetology and a penchant for chambray shirts. He’s hired as an assistant to Dr. Carl Stoner, a reclusive professor and snake...
Soylent Green (1973): You are what you eat.
I have seen the future and everyone is sweaty. Really, really, sweaty. Soylent Green could be New York in 12 years time. If the Planet Earth series has taught us anything you know that we’re all just about fucked. And people won’t stop having babies which leads to our second issue: Overpopulation. Thirdly, what about food? Freeze Dried Chipolte? Oatmeal Sandwiches? Gruel?! What will we...
Less Than Zero (1987): White Lines...
Remember the end of high school? Everyone’s all “sign my yearbook!”, stiff “ass out” hugs, kodak moments and “keep in touch!”. You and your besties go your separate ways hoping to reconnect, catch up over a few lines and reminisce about the good ole days. You go to college for a while and it’s alright: more girls and more drugs, but somethings...
Wait Until Dark (1967): Hello, is it me you're...
Wait Until Dark is such a good film! Audrey Hepburn plays Suzy, a blind woman who shares a basement apartment with her photographer husband. She’s beautiful, smart, amiable, and striving to become more independent with the help of her neighbor Gloria. Things are all good until Alan Arkin (and his shitty bowl cut and Lennon style shades) find out there is heroin planted in a doll inside of...
Eyes of Laura Mars (1978): She's got the look!
Eyes of Laura Mars is one of my favorite so bad it’s good films. Faye Dunaway plays Laura Mars, a high-fashion photographer known for her provocative photos juxtaposing fashion and death.* Suddenly out of nowhere Laura can see through the eyes of a serial killer as he commits his crimes. No, seriously. There’s lot of screaming of the word “NOOOOO!”, screechy suspenseful...
Who are you, Polly Maggoo? (1966): Sashay, Chante!
Ah, Fashion. EVERYONE wants to be a designer (groan) and every skinny awkward girl out there wants to be a model. How many seasons of America’s Next Top Model have we watched with baited breath to see Tyra hold up the final “picture in her hand”? And listened to Mr. and Mrs. Jay’s insane memes about walking, makeovers and being fierce? Why do we do it?! We know it’s...
La Passion de Jeanne d'Arc (1928): And she's...
The Passion of Joan of Arc is an incredible silent film with an unbelievable back story. To make a long crazy story short the original version of the film was accidentally destroyed in a fire so the director tried to recreate the film but died before it’s completion. Finally in 1981 an almost complete copy of the film was mysteriously found in a janitor’s closet in an Oslo Mental...
Wild at Heart (1990): Let me go crazy, crazy on...
“The world’s wild at heart and weird on top…” - Lula Fortune
No complaints on this one. This movie contains more than a few of my favorite things…A shot of a car rolling over a cliff and exploding (!!!), hot pink fingernails, Isabella Rossellini with trashy blonde hair, Chris Isaak “Wicked Game” instrumental, heavy Wizard of Oz references, Willem Defoe...