So you’re watching a scary movie and it gets to that inevitable scene where our protagonist is about to enter a place that they obviously shouldn’t. It’s usually an abandoned house, a dark patch of woods (without a flashlight), any type of basement or attic, a creepy doll store that is closed… You get the picture. It’s also usually the slowest the person has walked throughout the entire movie and now they are inching there way towards the entrance, their hand reaching for the dusty doorknob, and the suspense is killing you…
You quickly slide your hands up to cover your eyes, then part two fingers ever so slightly so that you are still able to see, and you wait. And just when you’ve prepared yourself for the scary reveal (queue scary old person, pale evil child making cat noises, dead body, half animal/beast person, skeleton in a rocking chair, etc) you hear the pounding sounds of Motörhead. Yes, Motörhead. Then you think “what the fuck?!”. Director Dario Argento ruins any chance any scene had to be scary by playing music by Motörhead, Iron Maiden and Goblin. When not rockin’ out, a young Jennifer Connelly calls on her creepy crawly friends and a monkey to help her solve murders and get out of sticky situations. So bad it’s amazing.
