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Type: Imitation of Life (1959)

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 13:17:15 -0400

Experiments: The Dark Side of the Rainbow (1939/1973)

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 13:11:30 -0400

The bong water tinged theory of synching Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon with The Wizard of Oz has been floating around the Internet for nearly two decades. Its roots date back to a 1995 article citing an online discussion group. You can almost see the message board correspondences between SourDieSelDude73 (Yes, he’s writing from a hotmail account) and FloYdAnimMal264. Though Pink Floyd and the album’s engineer Alan Parsons deny any intentional links, there are some mesmerizing coincidences that are too strange to be ignored.

Though the union isn’t perfect, one particular scene can only be described as accidental brilliance. During the film’s pivotal tornado scene Floyd’s The Great Gig in the Sky plays. As the townsfolk rush home to take shelter the song builds, its vocal and cymbal heavy crescendo pounding as a bewildered Dorothy watches neighbors, family members, and objects whiz past her window caught in the eye of the storm. On its own the song is a vocal powerhouse: a chilling series of booming notes that reflect the chaos on screen. This is the best example of the Floyd and Oz paring and it’s beautiful. Another begins with the song Money. As the layers of cash registers clang and chirp Dorothy slowly pushes open the door to Oz, revealing the films first moments of Technicolor. The dreamy song Us and Them is set against the munchkins warm welcome of Dorothy to Oz. The word “black” is repeated softly when the Wicked Witch appears in a cloud of red smoke before Dorothy and Glinda the Good Witch. Roger Waters sings “… And who knows which (read: WITCH?) is which, and who is who?”. Heavy!

Overall the musical suite gives this already creepy film a slightly darker and even more surreal feeling. Sadly The Dark Side of the Moon is about an hour short of Oz’s running time though some theories believe continuing to play the album brings out more coincidences. I decided to stop somewhere before the munchkin suicide and the flying monkeys. In the final moments of the album’s closing song Eclipse, Dorothy and the scarecrow stand before the Tin Man pouring oil into his rusty bits and trying to bring him to life. As the song fades out, a sample of a human heartbeat can be heard as Dorothy lightly knocks on the Tin Man’s chest. Remember, he was missing a heart (!!!) If that’s not cinematic serendipity than I don’t know what is.

Hubba Hubba: Lauren Bacall.

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 23:49:35 -0400

Humphrey Bogart’s leading lady on and offscreen really knew how to give good face. That hair, those lips, the strong brows?! Va-va-voom.

Title Sequence: Beats Rhymes & Life (2011)

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 15:24:00 -0500

A well executed title sequence is hard to come by these days. Last summer when I saw Michael Rapaport’s Beats Rhymes & Life I thought “This is How it Should be Done”. The film premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival to much fan fare and a little drama. Disputes over producer titles, tears at the premiere, email beef, Phife Dawg’s ongoing issues with soda and Funyuns, along with the band’s sudden breakup in 1998 all indicated that this was going to be more than your average hip hop doc. Spoiler Alert: Beats Rhymes & Life is awesome and honest: giving fans a behind the scenes look of the broken relationships between the band members that led to their breakup. These colorful illustrations by artist James Blagden and animator Phillip Niemeyer with help from Doubleday & Cartwright really set the stage for the documentary: capturing the bold spirit of Tribe’s music and the visual style of the nineties.

Stills courtesy of Doubleday & Cartwright.

Film in Art: Drive Neons by Rizon Parein.

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 19:46:37 -0500

R U SERIOUS?! Just stumbled upon these amazing Drive inspired neons by 3D designer Rizon Parein. Drive + neon + hot pink = my funeral. Check out more of Rizon’s work here.

Props: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 09:55:15 -0500

All White Everything.

In the moment that you meet Alex Witjas your first challenge is to keep up with her energy....

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:35:00 -0500

In the moment that you meet Alex Witjas your first challenge is to keep up with her energy. She’s a living emoticon, embodying all of the silliness and giddy excitement of a teenager in the most endearing way. Your second challenge is to resist falling in love with her. Alex is one of those people that has this magnetic pull: a mix of shameless goofiness, talent, envious personal style, and genuine charisma that makes you wanna be around her. Never mind the fact that she is a total babe. As a talented graphic designer, her clever visual style captures her forever young spirit through fun layouts and quirky color combinations. She also has the most amazing parents whose antics she catalogs in a hilarious tumblr dedicated to their texts, loving overbearingness and adventures in LA. A photo of them at a Lady Gaga concert nearly had me filling out my own adoption papers and forging their signatures. As we used to say in Philly, Alex is all that and a bag of chips! Here in no particular order is Alex’s The Perfect Ten.

Twilight: New Moon (2009)

Haters gun hate but this movie is LEGIT entertainment. By far the best out of the ~saga~ thus far. *Editor’s note: Alex, loose my number.

Clueless (1995)

“Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.” *Editor’s note: This movie really captures an era. Do you ever remember plaid, knee highs, and Mary Janes EVER looking this good? And Wallace Shawn. How can you not love Wallace Shawn? The best! I want to always remember Brittany Murphy as Tai, her makeover scene is so great. Clueless also has amazing one liners, really great writing.

Showgirls (1995)

Watched this a lot as a child for some reason? It’s a true masterpiece, best scene to YouTube is the fish out of water pool sex scene with Trey from Sex and the City.*Editor’s note: One of the reasons that I love Showgirls is that I wanna believe that Paul Verhoeven was in on the joke. I find it impossible for him to not realize how ridiculous and tawdry (read: A-M-A-Z-I-N-G) some of these scenes and their ajoining dialogue were. The lap dance scene in the champagne room, the dance off in the club where she’s is basically having a seizure standing up, every scene with Gina Gershon. Elizabeth Berkley was gonna make sure you forgot that she was that nerdy spazz Jessie Spano, one nude scene at a time. Nomi Malone 4 EVA.

Pretty Persuasion (2005)

Dark indie film about a high school girl, Evan Rachel Wood (before she got weird with Manson and cut all her hair off, not a good look for you girl) who accuses a teacher of sexual harassment in order to become famous. L O V E S I T !

Jawbreaker (1999)

A bunch of popular girls kill their friend in a birthday surprise because she chokes on a jawbreaker, lead character is named Fern Mayo, Marilyn Manson sans make-up, fuzzy sweaters and patent leather pants. 2 DIE 4.*Editor’s note: Rose McGowen is so good at playing a bitch. And Julie Benz before she was Dexter’s wife! Whoa, Flashback!

Tell No One (2006)

Subtitles are annoying (TO ME THEY ARE OK?) but this movie is really great. Suspense and romance and I double doggy dare you to not cry at the end!

My Boyfriend’s Back (1993)

Johnny Dingle comes back from the grave to take the most popular girl in school Missy McCloud out on a date. UGH, why has a boy never done this for me?!?!*Editor’s note: Alex, repeat after me: It’s only a movie, It’s only a movie…

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Julia Stiles dancing on the table to ODB at the party is who I’ve always wanted to be in life and Heath Ledger singing to her on the school bleachers is the boy I’ve always dreamed of.*Editor’s note: I think I’ve seen this one million times thanks to TBS’s Sunday afternoon movie series. This time slot is a black hole people, look away! Titanic is a staple in their lineup. And what ever happened to Andrew Keegan? I think Larry Clark’s Teenage Caveman killed him. He went full indie, big mistake.

House of D (2004)

Ok so it’s kind of your typical cheesy formula indie film (and written and directed by David douche-ovny, whaaa?) but it’s all very sweet. Also I love a movie set in 1970’s New York and ANTON YELCHIN I DIE. Cutest.

Powder (1995)

The poster is epic and Powder was sort of hot.*Editor’s note: I cannot co-sign this. The dude looks embalmed and he basically had Michael Jackson’s chest. Remember the video for You Are Not Alone? One of the worst brain stains of my entire life. No, really.

Alex Witjas is a graphic designer living, working, and breaking hearts in Los Angeles.

Check out Alex’s Sites!

Her work: Alexwitjas.com

She likes to blog: rainbowgradientcatboom.tumblr.com, billyandscott.tumblr.com **my personal favorite** and www.eatingmyfeelings.com

Found Stills: The Fifth Element (1997)

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 00:21:13 -0500

Still one of the best from Luc Besson.

Long Weekend (1978): Tell Them That It's Human Nature...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 10:19:00 -0500

If natural disasters are any indication than Mother Nature is one crazy unstable bitch. She also has a legion of furry, scaly, creepy crawly, and sea loving minions ready and willing to do her biding. Enter Peter and Marcia, a couple trying to salvage a marriage that has lost that loving feeling with a long weekend of camping. They begin their romantic trip by running over a helpless kangaroo, and then over the course of twenty four hours commit more crimes against nature by pissing off ants, an eagle, a tassie devil, a tree, ducks, and even try to kill an innocent dugong (Australia’s answer to the manatee). These bastards also litter, a lot!

Their constant bickering is interrupted by an ominous howl that haunts the camp grounds, a sound that is akin to an animal being slaughtered. This isn’t anything like that soothing “rainforest” setting on your Sharper Image alarm clock. Unless you enjoy waking up to the sound of death with your Folgers. And then the animal retaliation begins, with Peter taking the brunt of the attacks: first by an eagle, then a hungry yet adorable possum. And remember that dugong? Well, he just. won’t. die. So keep shooting Peter. But the movie asks us is nature really after them or are the couple’s inner demons really creating these problems? Watch and see. Either way it’s safe to say that they should have booked a room at the Holiday Inn instead.

Best of Netflix Watch Instantly: Beverly Hills Madam (1986)

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 23:38:00 -0500

Are you sitting at home staring at a glass of room temp boxed Chardonnay thinking “What am I possibly going to do tonight?”. Then Beverly Hills Madam is the movie for you! Faye Dunaway borrows a little from her performance as Joan “Mommy Dearest” Crawford to play Lil Hutton, a madam catering to only the most wealthy clients. Though she lives a cushy life, she has her own set of small business problems: Mainly in keeping her beautiful but very complicated stable of fillies in line. There’s the aspiring dancer (Robin Givens) who’s always late, the the law student balancing finals and accidentally getting knocked up by a client, and her most seasoned gal who gets engaged only to have her fairy tale ruined when an old John outs her. “Oh Steven, don’t be so naive! She’s a PRO! A high class whore! I’ve had her Steven, and so has any one else who has a grand to pay for it!” (Queue the groom’s horrified face and cut to commercial.) Damn, bros before hos never had more meaning. Rough stuff.

Faye Dunaway spends her days setting up appointments, sitting by the pool, and preying on gullible runaways at the mall. The lady has a business to run people! Lil sees the girls as pawns in her game but soon the stakes get too high. Notably absent are the police but never mind them, this is a made for TV movie à la Lifetime that has enough surface drama without the man intervening. Save that for Drew Peterson: Untouchable starring Rob Lowe. This is the perfect movie for a night of guiltless pleasure: just the right amount of made for TV camp, a lotta Faye Dunaway sass, and a glimpse into the lifestyle of a high priced call girl (the PG TV version anyway). Now hurry back to the liquor store, you’re almost out of wine.

This movie also reminds me of one of my favorite Queen songs Killer Queen.

Hubba Hubba: Matt Dillon by Bruce Weber.

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 19:36:42 -0500

Happy Birthday Matt Dillon!

BONUS: Deep Throat (1972)

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:01:00 -0500

If I’m ever having a bad day I think about that time that I read Linda Lovelace’s memoir Ordeal and remember that things could always be worse. That memoir and her crazy life story are now being made into two films: Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story with Malin Akerman and Matt Dillon and Lovelace staring Amanda Seyfried and Peter Skarsgard. I only wish that Lindsay Lohan was still playing Linda as this would have insured at least one of the films would be terrible. While we await their releases let’s revisit the posters for the film that made her infamous: Deep Throat. How far does a girl have to go to untangle her tingle?

!Happy Valentine's Day!

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:26:00 -0500

Let’s celebrate the Hallmark holiday of love with a few of my favorite onscreen couples.

Mickey and Mallory Knox in Natural Born Killers (1994)

Why I love them: I don’t condone violence but I love watching it in film. Juliette Lewis and Woody Harrelson have so much chemistry here, with Mickey being the perfect andectdote to all of Mallory’s daddy issues. Too bad this manifests itself in a murder spree. “You make everyday feel like kindergarten” is one of my favorite lines. We didn’t rape and kill people when I was in kindergarten but you know, the school system is pretty flawed.

The Monster and his bride in Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Why I love them: Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! The scientist had all the right ideas when making a mate for his monster. Too bad she wasn’t feeling Frankie when she finally came alive. Call it the worst first date ever but I still think they make a glorious couple.

Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet in Romeo + Juliet (1996)

Why I love them: When I first saw this movie I wanted to crawl inside the screen and live there. Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio in their prime as teenage dreamboats! The sets! The costumes! The music! Paul Rudd! It was and still is one of the coolest film’s I’ve ever seen and this story really never gets old. The idea of killing yourself if you can’t be with the one you love is just soooo dramatic, and kinda romantic? Ok. probably just dramatic.

Angela and Alfred in Une femme est une femme (1961)

Why I love them: Jean Paul Belmondo and Anna Karina are all time favorites of mine. If I could have a time machine threesome they would be at the top of that list. #justsayin. I also love them in Pierrot Le Fou.

Cry-Baby and Allison Vernon-Williams in Cry-Baby (1990)

Why I love them: John Waters’ Baltimore bred Romeo and Juliet remake with a union of teary eyed trailer trash and blonde blue blooded royalty. I love the Grease style makeover that takes over Allison. And Johnny Depp… don’t even get me started.

Alvy Singer and Annie Hall in Annie Hall (1977)

Why I love them: I’m convinced that Judd Apatow studied Allen’s movies religiously. The nebbish guy who gets the brainy babe in every movie! Sometimes more than one beautiful woman in one movie! C’mon. For all the women pitted against Allen’s wit and neurosis, Diane Keaton seems apt for the challenge and how she makes a baggy pantsuit, fedora, and oversized glasses look so damn cool is one of cinema’s great mysteries.

Layla and Billy Brown in Buffalo ‘66 (1998)

Why I love them: Vincent Gallo’s major attitude can’t hide the fact that this dude has been burned and I love that Layla breaks through his shell to get to the soft doughy bear claw center. The fact that she survived that insane visit with his parents has got to count for something. And the final moments of them cuddling on the bed are just so lovely.

Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow in Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

Why I love them: If you are an attractive couple that is robbing banks and on the lam than I basically wanna be you. And if one half of that couple is Warren Beatty then where do I sign up? These two are also the subject of an amazing jam by Serge Gainsbourg.

Michel Poiccard an Patricia Franchini in Breathless (1960)

Why I love them: You know how I feel about Belmondo and here with Jean Seberg they make the perfect pair. This is what a romantic film looks like to me. Well, minus the ending.

Johnny Castle and Frances “Baby” Houseman in Dirty Dancing (1987)

Why I love them: A lot of my revenge plot daydreams involve dance. “Oh that jerk that was rude to me at CVS… wait till he sees me dance!” “That’s it! I’ll have a dance off with my ex-boyfriend at Happy Hour, that will show him!” “What do you mean I can’t exchange this? I’ll see you on the dance floor sucker!” These angry displays of dance never actually happen in real life, Thank God. But I blame Dirty Dancing and also every pop music video from 1999 to present. The idea of falling in love while training to dance and then showing everyone what’s up with some crazy overhead lift is just what my dreams are made of. They rued the day they put baby in that corner. And a man that can dance is second only to a man that can cook: so sexxxy. Ladies, can I get a witness?

Clarence and Alabama Whorley in True Romance (1993)

Why I love them: These two are just so trashy and so perfect as a ’93 Bonnie and Clyde. The film’s styling is so on point, especially in Alabama’s character. What a babe. I have a love/hate thing for Christian Slater, here the needle tips over to love.

Jesus and Mary Magdelene in Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

Why I love them: I mean is it just me or can you cut this sexual tension with a knife? There’s a lot of heat under those robes and rags. I’m telling you guys, HEAT!

Type: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:53:15 -0500

Music Videos: David Fincher for Madonna ('89-90)

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:04:00 -0500

I’m about to put you on to some good trivia. Did you know that David Fincher directed Madonna’s videos for Vogue and Express Yourself?! Yes, that David Fincher who made Kevin Spacey super creepy and Brad Pitt edgy. I wish I could queue that NBC The More You Know rainbow right now because this is a magical little revelation.

The video for Vogue is pure eleganza. Madonna’s polished black and white ode to Paris is Burning and Executive Realness featuring power suits and cashmere scarves. Those queens showed her the moves; she added Jean Paul Gaultier, diamonds, and diva fans. The rest is history. The original song is full of attitude: opening with Madonna asking “What are you looking at?” and a powerful series of snaps that I’m convinced only a drag queen could produce. Then we’re commanded to “Strike a Pose.” Do what Madge says and no one gets hurt. Madonna looks stunning as she channels Old Hollywood in the form of both Marilyn Monroe and Veronica Lake. The contrast of these overly feminine figures and Madonna donning a tailored men suit is part of what makes the video iconic. Eternal chameleon Madonna is so comfortable in her own skin that she’s sexy as a man or a woman. And a special shoutout is in order for Madge’s glorious décolletage in that lace top. This video is its swan song. Werk!

Express Yourself makes me long for the days of cinematic big budget music videos championed by Madonna and Michael Jackson. Remember how exciting the premieres would be!? Fincher brings us a modern sexed up version of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis with a cold, dark industrial city full of greased up hunks and one lonely grinding Madonna. Express Yourself was the most expensive video at the time with a budget of five million. With that kind of money couldn’t someone have bought her a glass? She really shouldn’t have to drink her milk out of a bowl on the floor. But if you insist she will, very, very, slowly. In this video she again toys with the idea of gender bending wearing both lingerie and a men’s double breasted suit enhanced by a Mr.Peanut style monocle. Madonna’s iconic videos are as important as the music, striking visual companions to songs many of us know and still love today and this fact makes me love David Fincher even more.

Found Stills: The Dark Crystal (1982)

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:17:21 -0500

OMFG. This lil’ guy.

BONUS: Swept Away (1974)

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:06:00 -0500

Loves of a Blonde (1965): I Wish He Was My Boyfriend.

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:57:00 -0500

In a small town in Czechoslovakia, a shoe factory owner is looking to give his staff a boost. And how do you solve a problem like boosting company morale with an all female staff? Free mani-pedis with a complimentary quick dry topcoat? A subscription to In Touch or Us Weekly? Sample sale passes? No. He thinks, let’s get the People’s Army to send some soldiers our way. That’ll do it! Too bad that when the train pulls in they’re mostly the older married type and not a bunch of Black Hawn Down babes. Andula is one of these workers, a young blond who wants to find love. At the soldiers’ mixer she is intrigued by Milda, an aloof piano player and quite possibly the youngest blooded male in the room. During their minutes long courtship, Andula is reminiscent of a needy contestant on The Bachelor: desperately grasping for affection and incorrectly reading into the smallest details as signals of love and promise of a future. She quickly goes from cold to the touch to making grand proclamations of trust. “I do trust you, I trust you more than anyone!” she coos. Andula, let me introduce you to a little Janet Jackson single from ‘87 called Lets Wait a While. I suggest you play it on repeat.

In the moments of post-coital bliss she unwinds by interrogating him about other women and about an earlier comment on her body. You see Milda compared to a guitar painted by Picasso, a line which she devours. Now Andula could chalk this up to one night stand but no, this evening was an invitation to a life together. After going their separate ways she turns up the crazy: dumping her boyfriend and hitching the first ride into Milda’s town. Yet she arrives not to open arms and kisses but to his confused parents who are not really psyched on this surprise visitor. One of the films lighter scenes involves the parents interrogation of her and commenting on Andula as if she is not in the room. Her head bobs back and forth between the two elders as if watching a tennis match. And before the night is through its clear she might have been better to love Milda from afar. Cat Stevens had it right, The First Cut Is the Deepest.

See this film: Paradise Lost 3, Purgatory (2012)

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:15:00 -0500

It’s almost hard to believe that I saw the first Paradise Lost film when I was only thirteen. My family has always had HBO: sometimes legally, sometimes illegally and their late night documentaries were an early obsession of mine. Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills introduced us to a small town murder and a tale more engrossing than a six hour marathon of Law and Order: SVU. On May 6th, 1993 in West Memphis, Arkansas three eight year old boys were brutally murdered, their tiny nude bodies and bicycles left in a ditch. Three teenage outcasts: Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin, and Jessie Misskelley Jr. are quickly rounded up and accused of their murder. The “evidence” consisting of little more than a love of black clothing, Metallica, and possession of some unique haircuts. The tide of whispers against the three and rumors of Satanism silenced the defense and any investigation of additional suspects. Add to that an understaffed police force buckling under the weight of a sophisticated homicide and a poorly processed crime scene. The film ends on a somber note with all three being convicted and beginning their new life behind bars.

Five years later the filmmakers revisit West Memphis for Paradise Lost 2: The Ballad of Mark Byers. The second films focuses of the families, support groups for the accused and their appeals. The incarcerated boys are now men and it’s obvious they did not understand the gravity of their situation at the time. Damien now sits on death row. The film garnered them national attention, the moniker The West Memphis Three, and some friends and supporters in high places. Yet they still have their enemies, mainly in Mark Byers: a stepfather of one of the victims. Byers belongs on a golden era Jerry Springer Show set. His crooked smile, slow draw, and humble bible belt roots giving way to this larger than life persona. You can almost hear that Deliverance banjo playing whenever he enters the frame. But when he invites the cameras to follow him, suspicions of his involvement grow. New evidence is introduced and disputed between experts, each subsequent appeal is rejected and another chapter begins.

And now we arrive at Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory. Eighteen years later so many questions still remain. Why was their no blood at the scene? Who was the man at the Bojangles restaurant? Why wasn’t stepfather Terry Dobbs initially questioned? Are there bite marks on the bodies? Etc. The saddest part of this trilogy is in the sheer number of victims. Not only the men incarcerated but the families and the young murder victims who almost take a back seat to the narrative of the sensational trial of the West Memphis Three. After nearly eighteen years behind bars they are freed in what is called an Alfred Plea: a grim epilogue that only adds more mystery to this story. Truth is truly stranger than fiction. It’s safe to say that Damien, Jason, and Jessie owe their lives to filmmakers Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky. Miscarriages of justice like this happen everyday and not everyone is fortunate enough to have not only cameras rolling but a very captive audience.

BONUS: Láska (1973)

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:04:00 -0500